What would your craigslist Ad read

As I was driving to work early this am, I was thinking of all the events that occurred yesterday that made me want to sell my kids on craigslist..... Would I be honest in hopes someone would want to rehabilitate them..or sugar coat their personalities... just to get them off my hands....

GIVEAWAY to a good home...
Three wild savages all potty trained but do not respond well to firm direction.   Often whine, whimper and feel that they are being picked on.  Fight when it is time for ....homework, to do chores, to shower, to go to bed, to go to school, or whenever they feel like it.
Please be prepared for screaming, yelling, hitting and a lot of MOOOOOMMMMMM.. to come your way.
Must have a bottomless money pit... they require mall trips, Lego's, Nerf guns, make up, movies, but they mostly like to blow money like it is going out of style...
I don't answer to spam so please text or email if you would like to take a look at these rotten kids....

What would your craigslist say????